Are you thankful?

This year as I reflect on thanksgiving and all that I am thankful for  my eyes well up with tears of joy and my heart explodes with a feeling that I am unable to put into words, one that hits me in the heart and carries up into my throat.  There are so many things on a daily basis that I give thanks for.  Typically these thanksgivings do not come at the most convenient times as occurred on Sunday.    Colin had just come in from a long day of fixing the garage door, we were in the middle of dinner, and as typical Rowan was breast feeding, while I was eating, and Lily insisted she had to go poop (as she always does in the middle of dinner), and she insisted as she always does, "nooo mama take me."  So we go into the bathroom, Rowan on the breast and Lily with her pants down at her feet climbing up to potty, she stops and traces the outline of her toddler seat, "Look mama a circle, round and round in circles (a song we sing at band class)."  She stops and admires the circle of her potty, a potty she has sat on daily for months nows.  I thought to myself, how incredible that my two year old can see a circle, recall her circle song and pause and think about it.  How come I cannot stop and pause and reflect on the things that I learn?  

On this evening, Colin was at work late and like every other  newborn Rowan was fussy because it was after 6 pm.  So Lily was being so patient as I played with her from a standing position for a few hours as I bounced Rowan to keep her as calm as possible.  We were going to the beach at this particular moment, which is why she had her sunglasses on (obviously).

Over the last few weeks our families have come to our rescue on many occasions.  I have learned to ask for help and every time I ask our families say, "yes, sure, of course, I would love to."  There have been many times we have not asked and someone just shows up on our doorstep to bring food, stack wood, play with Lily, and hold Rowan. 

There is something so special about baby sounds.  The loud gulps while she is breast feeding, the opening and closing of her little fingers as she gulps for the first few times as if this helps the milk come faster, as if she has just walked the desert and has not had anything to drink or eat in days.  The very first time she tried to make a sound other than a cry, a coo, a squawk as she distorts her face just to move her lips, a motion so big and so unfamiliar to her that she uses every muscle in her face and upper body to make the sweetest little sound.

And so it is on this thanksgiving that I appreciate and the lessons I learn from my two year old on how to stop and reflect, stop and notice and stop and have fun despite the craziness that surrounds us; I am grateful for a family and husband that gives and gives despite everything they have going on in their own life; I cherish the firsts, the distances we have come since learning all of our firsts, the sounds that will soon pass and will be a memory that I can barely recall despite how hard I try as the time moves by so slowly and so quickly.

Thanksgiving honorable mentions:  As you know we are in a new home and this home, unlike the last, has a DISHWASHER, a nicely working WASHING MACHINE and DRYER and SPACE to sprawl the incredible amount of baby stuff out everywhere!